I was Born in a big City of Confusion, on the other Side of the Ocean of Filthiness, far away from the Blest Land of Peace and Prosperity. Indeed, we did not have the Money to Buy all of those Vain Things of the World, which Rich People use, in Order to Distract their Minds from Reality; and therefore, we had to Invent our own Distractions.
Now, what Good is an American Apple Pie without some Iced-cream on it? Likewise, without an Enlightening Sermon at the End of a Readable Book, what Good is it?
1. Now, during the First Day of the Week, very Early during the Morning, they, and certain other Wombmen with them, came to the Tomb, bringing the Spices that they had Prepared during the Sixth Day of the Week. But, behold, they Found that the Stone had been Rolled Away from the Tomb! Then they went in and did not Find the Body of the Lord Jesus: because he had Risen from the Dead the Night before, just after Sunset, at the End of the Seventh Day of the Week, which was also the Beginning of the First Day of the Week.
1. Then the whole Multitude of the Bloodthirsty Red Jews Arose and Led him to Pilate. And they began to Falsely Accuse him, saying, "We found this Fellow Citizen Perverting the Nation of the Jews, and even Forbidding us to Pay Taxes to Caesar, saying that he himself is Christ, a King of the Jews.''
1. Now, the Feast of Unleavened Bread drew near, which is called the Passover. And the Chief Priests and the Scribes Sought how that they might Kill him: because they Feared that the People might make him their King, who would then Dethrone them from their Positions of Authority: because none of them were Holy Men.
1. Then Jesus Spoke a Parable to them, that Men ought to always Pray and not Lose Heart, saying: "There was in a certain City a Judge who did not Fear God nor Regard the Rights of Men. Now, there was a Widow in that City, who came to him, saying, `Avenge me of my Adversary.' And he would not Avenge her for a while; but, afterward he said within himself, `Though I do not Fear God nor Regard the Rights of Men, yet: because this Widow Troubles me, I will Avenge her, lest by her Continual coming she should Weary me.' ''
1. Then all of the Tax Collectors and the General Sinners drew near to Jesus, in Order to Hear him. And the Pharisees and Scribes Murmured, saying, "This Man Receives Sinners and Eats with them.'' So, Jesus Spoke this Parable to them, saying:
1. And it came to pass, while Jesus was Praying in a certain Place, when he Ceased, that one of his Disciples said to him, "O Ruler, Teach us to Pray, even as John also Taught his Disciples.'' So, he said to them, "When you Teach People to Pray, say something like this: ‘Our Father in Heaven, Hallowed is your Name. May your Kingdom come to the Earth, and your Will be Done on the Earth, even as it is Presently Done in Heaven.
1. Now, so it was, as the Multitude Pressed themselves around Jesus, in Order to Hear the Words of God that Filled him, that he Stood by the Lake of Gennesaret, and saw 2 Boats Docked by the Lake; but, the Fishermen had gone from them and were Cleaning and Washing their Nets. Then Jesus got into one of the Boats, which was Simon Peter's, and Asked him to Row Out a little ways from the Land. And thus Jesus Sat Down, as his Custom was, and Taught the Multitudes from the Boat.
Now, I Hear someone, who is like a Professor from the Universal College of almost Worthless knowledge, say: “O Peacock, were you Picking on Saint Matthew, or the Overzealous Person or Persons who might have Manipulated the Gospel of Matthew for their own Religious Agendas, or Purposes — such as Promoting the Trinity Doctrine?” Well, O Professor, I merely wanted to make it Clear to everyone that not ALL of the “Holy” Bible can be Trusted to be Accurate: beCause of the Obvious Contradictions, for which I am Sure that Saint Luke would Ag