This Photo shows a $2,360 Coffin for Rich People in a Poor Indebted Country, which is more than 20 TRILLION Dollars in Debt to Bankers and Money Lenders! Meanwhile, hundreds of millions of People, who are even Poorer than we Americans are, have no Decent Bed to sleep in — much less a $2,000 Coffin! Does something seem to be Wrong with this System of Government, which makes it so Inequitable?? Or, is this just another Rip-off Price for a Cheap Metal Box that is lined with Pressed Particle-board under Ruffled Imitation Silk, with a Comfortable Polyester Plastic Pillow for someone’s Temporary Sleep?? I do not know; but, I do Know that Dead People do not have much to say about what is Done with their Bodies after they Die, and Especially if they have not left any Instructions behind concerning that Matter. Therefore, in Order to keep the Record Straight, if and when I should Die — Hopefully not at any Time soon, Lord Willing — I want to be put inside of a Hardened Concrete Box that is above Ground Level and Faced with Red Granite (called a Sarcophagus), without any special Pillow, without being Embalmed, and without any Plastic Flowers. Indeed, you may use the same Pillow that I presently use on my Waterbed, just as long as you do not bother yourself to Wash the Pillowcases: because, after Rotting for a Week or so, the Pillow will also be Rotting, and no one will be the Wiser. In Fact, I have already Built most of the Sarcophagus in front of my Rock House, which only lacks a Concrete Slab on top, which might cost as much as 50 dollars: because there is plenty of Scrap Granite nearby, which can be used in Order to Face the Concrete on Top of the Box. However, it would be more Practical to put one foot of Topsoil in the Bottom of the Box, and then put my Dead Body on top of that Topsoil, and then cover me with Topsoil until the Box is full, and then Plant some Flowers on Top: so that no Fertilizer is needed for the Flowers to Grow — at least for the Time being. Furthermore, the Headstone can read:
Hir liiz thu Bodee uv Raa Wolter Swangkee — the Kulerfoul Peekok frum Aanjoul Rij, King’z Mowntun, Kintukee, hq Luvd thu Trqth moor than hiz oon Liif, hq Livd and Diid foor Riichusnus, hq ood noo Man eneething, hq left beehiind u Trezher-troov uv Trqth and Wizdum, hq wuz u Soor Thoorn in thu Siid uv u Wikid Guvernmunt, hq Prikt thu Konshuns uv evree Persun hq red hiz Inspiierd Bouks with an Oopen Miind, and hq Diid with Graat Shaam foor hiz feloo Kuntreemen: beekawz thaa woud not Listen tq thu Spirit uv Trqth noor Wizdum. Neverthules, Awl Glooree and Praaz tq hiz Kreeaater, hq Blest him with Speshoul Gifts, and hq Onerd him with Speshoul Frendz. Aamen.
Please TRIPLE CHECK the Spelling: because that will be to your own Shame, if you get it Wrong. It is Correct as it now is.